Mind & Matter: Volume 4

I Broke My Neck

As I launched into my 20th backflip of the day, it immediately became clear that my rotation was too slow.

I tried to compensate by flailing my arms, as I descended towards the ground head first, but it was too little too late.

I heard forceful 'cracks' and 'pop's run through my neck as I crashed into the trampolines metal support beam.

I was conscious, but I couldn't move anything from my neck down.

By the time the paramedics arrived I had started to regain some function in my hands and feet.

In the days following the accident ,and a successful surgery, it became clear just how lucky I was to be able to move and to be alive.

What was less obvious was how this would impact the trajectory of my life.

A New Life:

I was asked to leave the military college I had been attending on account that I could no longer participate in the mandatory activities required by freshmen.

Back at my parents house, my days were filled with pain killers and YouTube.

I become bitter and angry at the world.

Although I had been exceedingly lucky, I felt as though I had died in many ways.

My dreams of the military had died. My physical abilities as I knew them seemed muted and the future that I so dearly wanted was no longer possible.

With that as my reference point I decided to transfer to a 'normal' college. It was there that I met many incredible people and had endless amounts of fun.

This distracted me for a while but was ultimately shortsighted. My post graduate plans simply did not exist.

In the years after graduation, something felt wrong.

Time had passed but I had neglected the internal work necessary to identify a new purpose to pursue. I had not envisioned a future for myself that was achievable given the new conditions of my life.

Subconsciously I clung to a vision of the world that I once knew. That was the mental perspective that I operated from.

It wasn't until recently, more than 9 years after the accident, that I've realized this.

A Lesson:

It took me 9 years to realize that I needed to reinvent my purpose.

9 years of confusion, frustration and bitterness.

I know I'm not the only one suffering from this, so maybe this will help…

What I've learned is that:

The more quickly that we can become adjusted to new conditions, the faster we will see progress and the less likely it is that we will 'spin our wheels'.

Following my injury I simply ignored my feelings, said 'fuck it', and moved on. This is not what adjusting looks like.

The first step in adjusting involves understanding what is happening both internally and externally. If we don't know where we are, we can't plan a route to where we are going. If we don't know what we're doing or why, then it's difficult to know how we should change.

Focused reflection by means of a daily writing practice would have likely helped me with this. Writing forces you to articulate thoughts, and exposes gaps in thinking. I could have come to these realizations much sooner had I done focused and consistent reflection.

Interestingly, it’s during reflection the future path forward becomes more clear.

But reflection alone isn’t enough.

Once we’ve identified where we want to go, and the things that need to be done to get there, it’s time to ruthlessly implement.

Ideas are useless without implementation.

Once you know that change is required, it benefits you to do it as soon as possible.

All too often we know that we should change but we stop short of taking action.

Unfortunately, it often takes something bad happening before we commit to action:

• A bad accident

• Failing health

• Financial crisis

• Emotional turmoil

To avoid this we must adopt an attitude that accepts change, and is flexible enough to ‘shed’ old behaviors and un-useful thought processes.

I did the opposite of this by clinging onto something that was never going to be realized.

The reality is that we cannot willfully maintain a state of homeostasis.

By trying to keep things the same we become incompatible with our environment.

Like a computer in need of a software update, we start to get slow and become incompatible with the latest applications. 

Our thought processes become outdated as the world progresses around us.

In order to continue to progress and continue to remain effective, you need to keep updating yourself.

The faster we can identify a need to change, and then implement that change, the fast we will develop as a person.

Constantly changing, adapting and learning new skills may seem like more work on the surface. And many people associate more work with more pain.

My experiences tell me that the pain of waking up one day to realize that you are ‘out of sync’ with the world around you, is much worse than giving yourself an upgrade.

Good luck until next time, friend.